Abstract
The youngest of the five children of two hard-working Mexican immigrants, a first-generation student, a niña looking for her place within society; that's who I was. At home I was one person, una hija who translated for her parents, una hermana who watched every single episode of La Academia with her siblings, a tía who played zapatito blanco with her nieces and nephews. At school, I was a cheerleader who participated in Future Farmers of America (FFA), listened to country music and got good grades in all her classes. I was not the same person. A niña perdida, not knowing where I fit in. Trying to adjust to society's view on who I was and what I was supposed to believe. Throughout high school, I attempted to assimilate to my white peers within my Academic Advancement (AP) and College Preparatory courses. Being one of the few Mexicanas in these courses, I felt like I needed to be like the rest of my white peers to be taken seriously or respected by my fellow peers and teachers. Once I was accepted into Sacramento State and the College Assistance Migrant Program (CAMP), I hoped that perhaps that niña perdida might find a place to fit in. While in CAMP, I met other niña perdidas who longed for that similar safe space. Our CAMP counselor encouraged us to join a dance organization that would connect us back to our roots and perhaps help us find ourselves. That October I attended my first folklorico class. It was love at first zapateado. As I learned more about folklorico, along with the individual history of the various Mexican regions, the European, Caribbean, African, and indigenous mixture of the cultures and the struggles the community endured, I developed a greater appreciation for the beauty of folklorico. It was through folklorico that I learned about my culture. It was through folklorico that I developed the confidence to be comfortable in my own skin. It was through folklorico that I learned to love myself. It was through folklorico that this niña perdida found herself as a strong mujer, a chingona. Students from ethnic minority groups must learn what it means to be themselves, including who they are ethnically. These young people straddle this invisible line; on one side, the American society in which they will be active members of society, and on the other, they have their personal life, their family, and the color of their skin which puts them in contrast to white Americans (Ramirez, 1989). Claiming this individuality allows for people to claim their space amongst American society.