Abstract
Xicanx students in the California P-12 public school system have demonstrated rapid growth over the last 25 years, while their White counterparts have demonstrated a gradual decline (CDE, 2019; Pew Hispanic, 2018). However, Xicanx students are consistently failing to progress through P-16 system at higher levels than other groups (Kurlaendar et al., 2018). The number Xicanx principals (XP) and administrators extremely underrepresented in P-12 schools (Crawford & Fuller, 2017). It is vital for Xicanx students to see themselves reflected in principalship roles as XPs provide positive role models and culturally responsive leadership practices (Khalifa, 2018; Shuh, 2009). Thus, it is essential recruit, retain, and sustain more Xicanx principals and administrators. However, research indicates XPs experience additional stressors and hardships due to racial discrimination. This study employed a concurrent transformative mixed-method approach. Ten XPs were interviewed about their lived experiences, Yosso's (2005) community cultural wealth (CCW) model, and their wellness and self-care. Survey collected data from over 40 Xicanx administrators (XA) through Professional Quality of Life Scale 5 and the Mindfulness and Self-Care Scale. A Pearson's correlation was used to analyze survey data. Correlations revealed supportive structure, mindful awareness and supportive relationships as the most prevalent self-care practices among XAs. Qualitative data revealed experiences of Xicanx principals as Torchbearers, leaders who hold up the light to guide others. This study presented a Torchbearer model which combined Xicanx principals' lived experiences, CCW, and self-care to produce existential persistence, the ability to thrive in racialized structures in order to sustainably to hold light for others.